I have finally figured out my True Heart's Desire. I have known it for years and I have allowed my soul to find it and soak in it at times. I have made the correlation to those times being the strongest and productive times of my life. Seems simple - live your dream and you will be stronger and happier. I question why I have faught so hard to not savour each and every day in such peace and wonder. A place where my soul and spirit are at peace; growing stronger as I move forward. What happens or what do I allow to throw me off track or set me far back from where I was? Hmmm... why do people at times move away from what they absolutely love the most?
Now that I know my Heart's Desire and I have learned a path to move it forward - focus on it, nurture it, shape it, play with it and enjoy it I feel like God has breathed fresh air into my soul. Like I have finally caught my breath from chasing after what was always in front of me to begin with that I refused to see - or I refused to value. I suppose that in and of itself has different perspectives.
My favorite things to help students discover when I was teaching was the path of a "Writerly Life" and so I'm going back to what feeds my soul - writing. I hope others will choose to join me and write things that have fire. Not writing to just fill pages like most people did in school - but writing from the heart. In my thinking that is the only writing worth really doing. I know the state testing people would throw their arms up in disgust... but if you really want to know a person and their ability to write then get out of their way and let them write.
My plan is to go back through my writing teaching and my writerly life and shake it awake. Work on it. Review the teachings of some of the great writing teachers I came to know. Practice my craft while focusing on my soul and passions. I hope some of my previous students still do writing in this time and again - I know they have it within them for I experienced it. I think it is time to make people smile, cry, laugh, ponder and wander the world lost in wonder.
Take my hand and come along,
Gretchen
Friday, November 23, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Creation of the Baseball Bat
I just began working on this piece but wanted to share as it develops.
Thoughts
Regarding the Creation of the Baseball Bat
July 13,
2012
Have you ever thought about exactly where the idea for a
baseball bat came from? I know some
would argue that men made it up or “discovered” it as part of the All American
Game – Baseball. A stick to hit a ball
in a game as a means to the end of moving a person forward… taking that
original thought a little further I must state that I know the baseball bat has
been “developed” by a woman to accomplish tasks that man never dreamed of.
A baseball bat is a tool that serves many purposes.
It can be used to bash in the headlights of someone’s car that
is disrespectful to someone elderly in a parking lot. The idea being to make an impact on one’s
thought; specifically “Hey idiot, you shouldn’t have done that.”
When one is sick and tired of doing dishes SHE can take the
dishes outside… toss them in the air one at a time and hit them with the
bat. By doing so two different areas of
concern can be addressed – 1) the dirty dishes are taken care of, 2) HER
frustration from having to do the dishes; yet again, has been dissipated – at
least partially.
When there is a wall in the way (at least from a woman’s
perspective) and is unnecessary; where open space would benefit the vibes of
the house the baseball bat is a simple and easy tool to use to begin the
destruction and removing of said wall. Opening
up the lines of communication, in more ways than one, depending on the amount
of shock introduced into the household at the specific time of the removal.
As shown in the movie “Raising Helen” the all mighty baseball bat
can be used to bash in a hotel room door when someone’s teenage baby girl is
using some unnecessary means to get our attention. It can then be used to assure her accomplice
that he needs to pull up his pants and vacate the room if he desires to
continue on with life.
So as one can see, women have far many more uses for the
“baseball bat” than to simply hit a ball to move forward.
Forgiveness
One thing I am learning about forgiveness... or many things I suppose...
In order to truly forgive perhaps one must forget as well. Forget and forgive the incident but not the lesson learned from the incident. Otherwise one is forever held captive by the actions of themselves or the actions of others. Children are the teachers of this I think. So much happens to them day to day and they always forgive and reaccept no matter what - it may take them some time but they will remember the lessons and base life decisions on what they learn from those lessons.
There are many ways this applies to my life right now. Things I am struggling to let go of and to move beyond. Is it enough to state forgiveness out to the universe or must forgiveness be given to a particular person face to face? What if the forgiveness is recieved with hatred and negativity. I'm sure some would pose that working with God forgiveness is automatic and that the other party needs to work on forgiving themselves as well as others involved. I believe that true forgiveness is seen in action not merely words. Forgiveness results in a change of action, change in behavior, the setting free of challenges that are constantly addressed by holding the negative feelings within.
Look how quickly we forgive children for their transgressions if one wishes to call them that. Why then as adults; whom are suppose to be more wiser, do we not instantly forgive and forget the transgressions of others toward us? Why have so many hearts closed so strongly and permanently? When will kindness again touch the people of the earth and reconnect us at a level to which children are connected? Children can almost instantly meet new people and call them friends. Do we do that as adults? Kids can play with complete strangers at a hotel pool and 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 2 minutes into their play can introduce their new friend to me as a friend... not as someone they just met - but a friend. My youngest is amazed that all of his teachers and aides are not my friends.... to him brief conversations make friends. Perhaps more thought and effort on my part needs to be focused on this in order to assist myself in growth on my journey.
Certainly lots to ponder.
Peace and Love,
G
In order to truly forgive perhaps one must forget as well. Forget and forgive the incident but not the lesson learned from the incident. Otherwise one is forever held captive by the actions of themselves or the actions of others. Children are the teachers of this I think. So much happens to them day to day and they always forgive and reaccept no matter what - it may take them some time but they will remember the lessons and base life decisions on what they learn from those lessons.
There are many ways this applies to my life right now. Things I am struggling to let go of and to move beyond. Is it enough to state forgiveness out to the universe or must forgiveness be given to a particular person face to face? What if the forgiveness is recieved with hatred and negativity. I'm sure some would pose that working with God forgiveness is automatic and that the other party needs to work on forgiving themselves as well as others involved. I believe that true forgiveness is seen in action not merely words. Forgiveness results in a change of action, change in behavior, the setting free of challenges that are constantly addressed by holding the negative feelings within.
Look how quickly we forgive children for their transgressions if one wishes to call them that. Why then as adults; whom are suppose to be more wiser, do we not instantly forgive and forget the transgressions of others toward us? Why have so many hearts closed so strongly and permanently? When will kindness again touch the people of the earth and reconnect us at a level to which children are connected? Children can almost instantly meet new people and call them friends. Do we do that as adults? Kids can play with complete strangers at a hotel pool and 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 2 minutes into their play can introduce their new friend to me as a friend... not as someone they just met - but a friend. My youngest is amazed that all of his teachers and aides are not my friends.... to him brief conversations make friends. Perhaps more thought and effort on my part needs to be focused on this in order to assist myself in growth on my journey.
Certainly lots to ponder.
Peace and Love,
G
Monday, July 25, 2011
A New Beginning
Our family has been living on the Everyone Just Settle Down Ranch now for about 9 months. I have spent those 9 months focusing soley on my kids, the property and wallowing in my own self pity. Last night I decided it was time to build a bridge and get over all the crap. So today I start again with me. Back on walking back on drinking water - no more soda (the evil drink developed by the devil) jk. Back on my Arbonne shakes and detox... getting myself healthy.
My fiance moved in to join us over a month ago and things are going very well. It is so nice to feel completely loved even when I screw things up. Fun to watch him interact with the kids and see the building of respect and help the kids have around here.
Really that is it for about now... time to get busy... time to think about starting writing again - expressing the world of my soul and brain so that I can grow, learn and turn into the spirit our Lord in Heaven has intended for me to be.
My fiance moved in to join us over a month ago and things are going very well. It is so nice to feel completely loved even when I screw things up. Fun to watch him interact with the kids and see the building of respect and help the kids have around here.
Really that is it for about now... time to get busy... time to think about starting writing again - expressing the world of my soul and brain so that I can grow, learn and turn into the spirit our Lord in Heaven has intended for me to be.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Step by Step
The Lord gives us things to work on - step by step... some times the steps are harder, longer, steeper and we wonder why. Sometimes things feel as if we could run down hill - at times loosing control of our bodies.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Calm My Anxious Heart
Those of you that know me also know that I have what has been labeled "high anxiety disorder"... if that is true or not who really knows. Psychriasts like labels... the federal government doesn't so much like that label. I have come to know that I am an anxious person, something I really didn't realize at one time, but now something that I can admit and be okay with; most days.
I found this book Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow in the book store at my church. I decided to purchase it and see what others had to say about anxiety. I have read the book and have a lot to say about the book - it is fabulous, well written, scripture based, and provokes self examination and thinking - some of which is not always easy. I am willing to admit that there are things she recommends that I am not yet ready to face, but with time and the Lord's help perhaps I will get there.
In the beginning of the book she tells a story about Ella who is a daughter of her dear friend Mimi. I assume Mimi has passed away as Ella was going through Mimi's diaries where she discovered Ella's prescription for contentment:
With my fiance being in Wisconsin and the children and I being here it is often easy to get caught up in our desire to be together as a family - either here or there. The change in thinking is to focus on what God is teaching us through this time of learning about each other over distance. Look for the bright spots, look for the laughter and the fun we can have together even this far apart.
Never compare my lot with another's... this used to be easy as when I worked I had mostly what the children and I always needed and sometimes wanted. They and I have learned to live without almost all our wants and to pass on even a few of our needs. When I drive by the fancy houses for sale I have to admit that I think how nice it would be live there - but on the other hand... I'm so happy where I am and with what I have. I think it is way to easy to get wrapped up in what the world tries to sell us.
I am where I am because I have been where I have been. The Lord made me specifically to be me. I may have made some choices that He would have wished I chose otherwise... but I'm happy with who I am... I'm 43 and finally happy with who I am... it takes some of us a while longer than it does some others.
I have to say that I often look forward to tomorrow or what the future holds - but that is seldom my focus anymore... now I enjoy each day as it comes and each moment I get to spend with my children; even when they are driving me a bit nuts. I used to look 3 or 4 years ahead into the future and worry about where my career will be - now I know... my life is my children and the growing of my knowledge and relationship with the Lord. He will provide for all our needs - always.
So has my anxious heart been calmed? Absolutely NOT... is it calmer than it has been in the past YES. Am I still on the journey as I continue to study the lessons in this book and the lessons of our Lord ABSOLUTELY --- the difference is that now I know where the focus should be and I'm happy on the path of my journey.
Peace,
Gretchen
I found this book Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow in the book store at my church. I decided to purchase it and see what others had to say about anxiety. I have read the book and have a lot to say about the book - it is fabulous, well written, scripture based, and provokes self examination and thinking - some of which is not always easy. I am willing to admit that there are things she recommends that I am not yet ready to face, but with time and the Lord's help perhaps I will get there.
In the beginning of the book she tells a story about Ella who is a daughter of her dear friend Mimi. I assume Mimi has passed away as Ella was going through Mimi's diaries where she discovered Ella's prescription for contentment:
- Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather
- Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or somplace else
- Never compare your lot with another's
- Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
- Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that [tomorrow] is God's not ours
With my fiance being in Wisconsin and the children and I being here it is often easy to get caught up in our desire to be together as a family - either here or there. The change in thinking is to focus on what God is teaching us through this time of learning about each other over distance. Look for the bright spots, look for the laughter and the fun we can have together even this far apart.
Never compare my lot with another's... this used to be easy as when I worked I had mostly what the children and I always needed and sometimes wanted. They and I have learned to live without almost all our wants and to pass on even a few of our needs. When I drive by the fancy houses for sale I have to admit that I think how nice it would be live there - but on the other hand... I'm so happy where I am and with what I have. I think it is way to easy to get wrapped up in what the world tries to sell us.
I am where I am because I have been where I have been. The Lord made me specifically to be me. I may have made some choices that He would have wished I chose otherwise... but I'm happy with who I am... I'm 43 and finally happy with who I am... it takes some of us a while longer than it does some others.
I have to say that I often look forward to tomorrow or what the future holds - but that is seldom my focus anymore... now I enjoy each day as it comes and each moment I get to spend with my children; even when they are driving me a bit nuts. I used to look 3 or 4 years ahead into the future and worry about where my career will be - now I know... my life is my children and the growing of my knowledge and relationship with the Lord. He will provide for all our needs - always.
So has my anxious heart been calmed? Absolutely NOT... is it calmer than it has been in the past YES. Am I still on the journey as I continue to study the lessons in this book and the lessons of our Lord ABSOLUTELY --- the difference is that now I know where the focus should be and I'm happy on the path of my journey.
Peace,
Gretchen
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Some Times I Wonder
Today has been a hard day. I try to keep a positive attitude and not complain as I know complaining gets me no where. I am learning to lift my concerns and "issues" up to God, but somedays are overwhelming.
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