Our family has been living on the Everyone Just Settle Down Ranch now for about 9 months. I have spent those 9 months focusing soley on my kids, the property and wallowing in my own self pity. Last night I decided it was time to build a bridge and get over all the crap. So today I start again with me. Back on walking back on drinking water - no more soda (the evil drink developed by the devil) jk. Back on my Arbonne shakes and detox... getting myself healthy.
My fiance moved in to join us over a month ago and things are going very well. It is so nice to feel completely loved even when I screw things up. Fun to watch him interact with the kids and see the building of respect and help the kids have around here.
Really that is it for about now... time to get busy... time to think about starting writing again - expressing the world of my soul and brain so that I can grow, learn and turn into the spirit our Lord in Heaven has intended for me to be.
One day, one hour, one minute, one step, one second at a time traveling my journey
Monday, July 25, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Step by Step
The Lord gives us things to work on - step by step... some times the steps are harder, longer, steeper and we wonder why. Sometimes things feel as if we could run down hill - at times loosing control of our bodies.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Calm My Anxious Heart
Those of you that know me also know that I have what has been labeled "high anxiety disorder"... if that is true or not who really knows. Psychriasts like labels... the federal government doesn't so much like that label. I have come to know that I am an anxious person, something I really didn't realize at one time, but now something that I can admit and be okay with; most days.
I found this book Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow in the book store at my church. I decided to purchase it and see what others had to say about anxiety. I have read the book and have a lot to say about the book - it is fabulous, well written, scripture based, and provokes self examination and thinking - some of which is not always easy. I am willing to admit that there are things she recommends that I am not yet ready to face, but with time and the Lord's help perhaps I will get there.
In the beginning of the book she tells a story about Ella who is a daughter of her dear friend Mimi. I assume Mimi has passed away as Ella was going through Mimi's diaries where she discovered Ella's prescription for contentment:
With my fiance being in Wisconsin and the children and I being here it is often easy to get caught up in our desire to be together as a family - either here or there. The change in thinking is to focus on what God is teaching us through this time of learning about each other over distance. Look for the bright spots, look for the laughter and the fun we can have together even this far apart.
Never compare my lot with another's... this used to be easy as when I worked I had mostly what the children and I always needed and sometimes wanted. They and I have learned to live without almost all our wants and to pass on even a few of our needs. When I drive by the fancy houses for sale I have to admit that I think how nice it would be live there - but on the other hand... I'm so happy where I am and with what I have. I think it is way to easy to get wrapped up in what the world tries to sell us.
I am where I am because I have been where I have been. The Lord made me specifically to be me. I may have made some choices that He would have wished I chose otherwise... but I'm happy with who I am... I'm 43 and finally happy with who I am... it takes some of us a while longer than it does some others.
I have to say that I often look forward to tomorrow or what the future holds - but that is seldom my focus anymore... now I enjoy each day as it comes and each moment I get to spend with my children; even when they are driving me a bit nuts. I used to look 3 or 4 years ahead into the future and worry about where my career will be - now I know... my life is my children and the growing of my knowledge and relationship with the Lord. He will provide for all our needs - always.
So has my anxious heart been calmed? Absolutely NOT... is it calmer than it has been in the past YES. Am I still on the journey as I continue to study the lessons in this book and the lessons of our Lord ABSOLUTELY --- the difference is that now I know where the focus should be and I'm happy on the path of my journey.
Peace,
Gretchen
I found this book Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow in the book store at my church. I decided to purchase it and see what others had to say about anxiety. I have read the book and have a lot to say about the book - it is fabulous, well written, scripture based, and provokes self examination and thinking - some of which is not always easy. I am willing to admit that there are things she recommends that I am not yet ready to face, but with time and the Lord's help perhaps I will get there.
In the beginning of the book she tells a story about Ella who is a daughter of her dear friend Mimi. I assume Mimi has passed away as Ella was going through Mimi's diaries where she discovered Ella's prescription for contentment:
- Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather
- Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or somplace else
- Never compare your lot with another's
- Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
- Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that [tomorrow] is God's not ours
With my fiance being in Wisconsin and the children and I being here it is often easy to get caught up in our desire to be together as a family - either here or there. The change in thinking is to focus on what God is teaching us through this time of learning about each other over distance. Look for the bright spots, look for the laughter and the fun we can have together even this far apart.
Never compare my lot with another's... this used to be easy as when I worked I had mostly what the children and I always needed and sometimes wanted. They and I have learned to live without almost all our wants and to pass on even a few of our needs. When I drive by the fancy houses for sale I have to admit that I think how nice it would be live there - but on the other hand... I'm so happy where I am and with what I have. I think it is way to easy to get wrapped up in what the world tries to sell us.
I am where I am because I have been where I have been. The Lord made me specifically to be me. I may have made some choices that He would have wished I chose otherwise... but I'm happy with who I am... I'm 43 and finally happy with who I am... it takes some of us a while longer than it does some others.
I have to say that I often look forward to tomorrow or what the future holds - but that is seldom my focus anymore... now I enjoy each day as it comes and each moment I get to spend with my children; even when they are driving me a bit nuts. I used to look 3 or 4 years ahead into the future and worry about where my career will be - now I know... my life is my children and the growing of my knowledge and relationship with the Lord. He will provide for all our needs - always.
So has my anxious heart been calmed? Absolutely NOT... is it calmer than it has been in the past YES. Am I still on the journey as I continue to study the lessons in this book and the lessons of our Lord ABSOLUTELY --- the difference is that now I know where the focus should be and I'm happy on the path of my journey.
Peace,
Gretchen
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Some Times I Wonder
Today has been a hard day. I try to keep a positive attitude and not complain as I know complaining gets me no where. I am learning to lift my concerns and "issues" up to God, but somedays are overwhelming.